The Doorway Back to Yourself
A practical way to return to presence for leaders who default to survival under stress
There are times when life can press up against us a little harder than we would like. It might be a conversation that bumps up against old bruises, a moment that catches you off guard, and when this happens, the body responds before you have time to think.
It could be a difficult conversation with a client or team member. It could be the unspoken pressure of needing to meet deadlines or hit targets.
Breath shortens. Muscles brace and the mind races to make sense of the internal alarm.
None of this is failure. It’s physiology.
The nervous system moves first, and our thinking comes later.
That’s how our biology is designed and it’s working now exactly as it did when we were being chased by sabre tooth tigers 30,000 years ago.
When we reflect on what’s happening, our human biology behaves in a counterintuitive way.
You’re not actually responding to this moment. You’re responding to echoes of memory, prediction, and the protective habits that have kept you going for years.
And yet, there is always a doorway back.
Returning to the Ground You Stand On
When our human system is overwhelmed, coming back to the body is one of the most effective ways to interrupt the spiral.
Trauma-informed therapies and contemplative traditions teach the same principle: when the mind is lost in fear, return to something you can sense right now.
There’s no need to bring therapy in to the the room when simple actions can be the difference that makes the difference to open the door back to ourselves.
A simple sensory check-in is enough. Notice:
the temperature of the air on your skin
the subtle scent of the room
the taste in your mouth
the quality of light entering your eyes
the nearest sound, then a sound further away
the weight of your body supported by the ground
Each of these shifts your attention from the story about what is happening to the reality of what is happening.
What Your Brain Is Doing When You Come Home to Your Senses
Neuroscience has its own language for this movement.
When you turn toward direct experience, then:
the networks responsible for rumination and prediction quieten
the sensory and salience networks become more active
the insula supports a clearer connection to your internal state
slow breathing increases parasympathetic tone and steadies the heart
prefrontal capacity returns — perspective, regulation, clarity
This is what “coming back online” actually means: your system becomes integrated again. It’s not relaxed nor is it numb; it is, instead, fully integrated.
Why This Matters for Leadership, Creativity, and Relationship
Under pressure, awareness narrows. You miss cues. You collapse to habit. You lose access to nuance and possibility. That’s not a character flaw — it’s how stress biases perception.
But when the nervous system steadies, the field widens. More of the moment becomes available. Context becomes clearer. You can hear what’s really being said. You can see what’s truly needed. You can choose instead of react.
This is the heart of mature leadership: the capacity to stay in relationship with reality, rather than with your fear about reality fuelled by the stories you are telling yourself consciously or otherwise.
The GRACE Process at Work (Without Naming It)
When you return to the body, you ground yourself.
When you slow your breath, you reclaim choice.
When you recognise what your system is doing, you soften into acceptance.
When clarity returns, creativity opens.
And when you act from presence, you embody the leader you always intended to be.
This is GRACE in motion. It’s a lived, visceral process that enables you to shift from reactivity to responsiveness and it can be trained.
The Practice
When activation rises, pause.
Feel something real.
Breathe with intention.
Let your attention widen again.
The world will look different because you will be different, more connected, more capable, and more fully yourself.
The present moment always offers more than fear can imagine.
Your task is simply to return to it, again and again.
When leaders practise them, they not only sustain their own performance but create the conditions for others to thrive.
In a world of pressure and speed, this is what grace in motion looks like.
If this resonates, consider subscribing to GRACEWorks. Each week, I share tools and practices to help high achievers shift from pressure to presence—grounded, centred, and embodied in the work that matters.
Love this Paul x
Jill Bolte Taylor in her book, A Stroke of Insight, "a negative (or any) emotional surge only physiologically lasts about 90 seconds unless your thoughts reactivate it, looping the feeling repeatedly." This gives me a true perspective of how much we (I) can shift my presence around whatever happened! Thank you Paul.